Friday, December 7, 2007

Dominant by Day, Submissive by Night

If you are like most men out there, you probably have no idea what makes those head-strong, powerful and intelligent career women "tick". I am referring to those women you see in power suits, managing a company or running her own, who seem completely invincible and on top of the world. These women know what they want in life and they do not stop until they get it. They are fast talkers, they can close a deal with a simple wink of the eye, they can make a male subordinate cry with the slightest of disappointed looks and they will never settle for anything less than perfect sexual equality. Furthermore, I think we can all agree that these are the sexiest women out there. Men just love to imagine what they have on underneath those designer suits.

The common train of thought and logic would lead you to assume that these women are just as domineering in the bedroom behind closed doors. Generally speaking, this is actually the furthest thing from the truth. Every person out there is different with regards to their personality in life and what turns them on after hours, and there will be many variations and deviances from the norm. However, most of the fierce and passionate women in the workforce love nothing more than to come home and be completely subjugated and ravaged by a very strong and masculine man.

In all sexual relationships there must be a dominant and a submissive. Two dominants or two submissives can get together and have magnificent sexual experiences, but there will be a certain something lacking emotionally. Each one will feel less psychologically satisfied because they will not be able to express their dominant or submissive traits quite a comfortably as they should. Pop culture tends to assume that people who are submissive during sex are doing so because this is how they want to be perceived in life, they want to be dominated. Even old psychology books will back up this old principle. Fortunately, the psychology of arousal and the logic that lies behind fantasies and the roles we play during lovemaking has been virtually re-written by Dr. Michael J. Bader, the leading psychoanalyst in this delicious area of expertise. To really sum up his new theories in a very rough manner, our sexual desires are almost the opposite of who we are in normal everyday life scenarios. His theories are applied to every sexual thought, idea and fantasy and not just dominant and subordinate behaviors. His new book made me quite hungry with dirty little thoughts.

A dominant women enjoys being submissive in bed because she is able to achieve stimulation. It is impossible to feel any kind of guilt, worry, or anxiety and become sexually aroused at the same time. Professional career women very often feel like they are too overbearing towards men, too controlling and too dominant. That causes a certain level of stress. This stress is completely alleviated by becoming the submissive during intercourse thereby allowing her to achieve stimulation. These and other new brilliant revelations have created a paradigm shift in the psychology of sex. And I think it is divine to have an in depth understanding of what makes the other person scream with hot blooded delight.

Of course, every individual will have a specific dirty little secret which turns them on and no two women are the same. This article applies to many strong business women, but not all. It becomes important to discuss what makes you turned on with your lover or find a reciprocal partner. But now many of you men know our dirty little secret. If you are the type of man who enjoys a dominant woman, the same logic applies to the quiet little librarian with the cat eyeglasses on. She just might be a dom-femme complete with a torture chamber in her home where she can break her male slaves. And don't forget ladies ...... this same idea applies to men!

by The Advice Diva

Friday, November 9, 2007

What is BDSM

BDSM stands for "Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism". The term is broadly used to cover any sexual activity that involves one partner being in control and one partner being controlled.

Often, BDSM activities include one of three elements:

- Role play (Example: one partner is the "master" or "mistress", and one partner is the "slave", who does whatever the master/mistress commands.)
- Control play (Example: one partner is blindfolded or tied up.)
- Pain play (Example: one partner spanks the other.)

Most BDSM "scenes" will involve a combination of some of these elements.

It's important to understand that BDSM activity always involves consent. That is, both partners in a BDSM interaction actively want to participate, and both partners have the ability to stop the activity at any time -- this usually involves using a pre-arranged signal, or "safeword".

There are many theories about why people are interested in BDSM, but no one has a definite answer. People who do BDSM (both as "tops" and "bottoms", indicating power or status, not necessarily actual positions) find it enjoyable and exciting. There is no evidence that interest or participation in BDSM activities is associated with any psychologicalproblems or that BDSM leads to abusive behavior outside the bedroom.

Beginners need to keep in mind the "Golden Rule" of SM: start slow. If you and your partner are ready to start experimenting, start out doing something simple and mild, rather than jumping right in to something like complicated bondage or intense sensation. You might want to begin with something like the bottom being tied to the bed during sex or a light spanking. See if this works for both of you before going further.

Both top and bottom need to be able to communicate their needs and limits. Negotiate a safword before every scene, so that when either of you need to stop, you have a clear, unambiguous signal. Common safewords are "Safeword" (you can"t misinterpret that one!) or "Red" for "Stop right now!", "Yellow" for "Slow down a little bit...", and "Green" for "That"s great, keep going!" never ignore a safeword, nor assume that your partner isn"t serious.

Always play within your ability. If you don't know how to do something safely, learn how before you try it out on your partner

Thursday, November 8, 2007

How to please Dominate Mistress ?

How to Please Dominate Mistress ?
I Know that i am submissive slave who eager to please a mistress but I am not sure how !I wish if a mistress tell me what a slave should do !